Advice For Dating Older Men: The Pros And Cons You Need To Know
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Stability Seems like the most logical reason to date an older man, right? Most people assume you are dating an older man ONLY for that reason. In fact, there are studies that suggest differently.
Being with a man that is well off or just more financially responsible is comforting, especially when you are planning out your future. No More Games There is nothing worse than having to play the dating games that you do in your teens and 20s.
Truth is he is probably just annoyed by the idea of jumping through those hoops as you are. Even better, most older men are done with the mind games. You ever go out knowing you look good, just to feel like nobody is trying to approach you?
A man who treats me like a child when we fight and have an argument is not a man I want to be with. This is different than him being condescending. It's when he scolds you, shames you, or makes you feel like a small child when you have 'done something wrong', and that is how he will put it too. It won't ever be his fault. Again, I don't care if the guy is older or not, but this is one of those things that I have no patience for.
My advice would be to get out now. You deserve to be treated better than that!
Con 3 - They can be controlling Older men can definitely be more controlling than younger men in their 20s or so. I think this comes from their experience and they may not mean this to be negative, as it is more like they are trying to protect you. Some men are very controlling in a way that is clearly abusive. I am dating a man right now who can be controlling at times, but I've noticed that he does it in a way that is more of trying to protect me.
He wants me to be safe, and he wants me to be a strong and independent woman, but when I needed new tires, he made calls and took care of it. He took control and handled it. This is a way older men can take care of us, it's how they show they care.
If you are with an older man who is controlling about things like getting your tires changed and making sure you are safe and taken care of, that's one thing. However, if he is controlling about who you hang out with, what you spend your time doing, etc.
Con 4 - Older men tend to be set in their ways Older men are known to be 'stuck in their ways'. Have you heard the saying: Well, from my experience, I can tell you this is definitely true. Older men have their routine, and they know what they like and what they don't.
Don't think that you will burst into his life and that he will stop everything and change for you. If you don't like who he is, how he dresses, how he does his hair and what he watches on TV, then it may be safe to say that he isn't the guy for you. It is difficult to overlook the fact that we all age.
When you are dating a man who is 10 years older than you, the day will come where he may actually look and act his age. It's tough to say when that will be, since some men age amazingly, but it happens to us all. Gravity will take over.
He won't have the endurance he once had. For some couples, this isn't an issue. However, it is a hard thing to ignore. Before you go all in with an older man, you may want to think about this and think about if it will bother you 10 years from now, or even Con 6 - You won't share many first experiences A post shared by Megan Hess meganmfh on Nov 13, at There are endless 'firsts' to talk about, and for some this isn't a big deal.
Relationship Advice: The Pros and Cons of the Dating Age Gap
But is it for you? Your first, and hopefully your only, wedding. It may be silly, but for some older men, these things have already happened.
They don't want a big wedding because they've had one. They know what being engaged was like. They may even know, and be very familiar with, parenthood. For some, experiencing these firsts with someone you will share your life with is important. For others, it doesn't matter.
Decide for yourself, but be honest and make sure you talk to him about it. Most older men will get it.
If you date older men, enjoy their experience and be aware of the possible flaws Overall, it is my advice that if you are into dating older men, then go for it! I have always dated older men and appreciate their experiences and the maturity they have compared to guys in their 20s.
The most important thing, just like in any relationship, is to be aware of the possible flaws that could go along with that. Older men, just like any other man, have the ability to be the best thing to ever happen to you and your dating life.
My experiences have been different, but always be aware of the way they treat you and speak to you. Have fun and appreciate what they have to offer to the relationship, but always be sure you are being treated with the respect you deserve. My husband had already lived a pretty full life — if men have biological clocks, his was definitely ticking.
He is a very devoted and dependable father; his maturity really came into its own when he became a dad. We've worked very well as parents, planning and agreeing on courses of action, giving the children a strong framework. The fact that he had a steady income and a house relieved much of the pressure young couples must feel when they become parents. Although it may not have been my wisest choice to settle down so young, I feel I've gained in having a partner who carries with him so much life experience and fullness of character.
I'm 34 and he has just turned 50 — a gaping chasm of 16 years. In the past I have generally dated men my age or younger, so this sudden leap into the world of "the older man" was a life change for me, and what a splendid one it has proved to be.
Our cultural references may be a bit different, but that's the only thing highlighting our age gap.
Large age gaps in a relationship: our readers respond | The people's panel | Opinion | The Guardian
We laugh at the same things and have similar hobbies, and yes, I find him very attractive indeed. He might not be able to do the splits as well as he used to allegedly or stay up very late week nights, but who gives a damn? I remember my dear old grandma saying on the morning of her 85th birthday that she still felt 21 inside, and I think this is something people forget when denouncing couples with an age gap.
We're all youngsters inside. Yes, that would be lovely thanks. I have one, and he's still able to play "it" with his grandsons at the age of We have been together for the last six years and have weathered the twilight years of my fertility together.
While childrearing was discussed and rejected, it remains to be seen whether this is something he ultimately decides he cannot live without. I do think there is a big difference in how age-gap relationships are viewed depending on who is older, largely because of reproductive issues: If the woman is the older, it is either trivialised as a "cougar" fling, or viewed as a tragedy for the hapless younger man.
In our case, we each grappled extensively with the age difference in our own way in the beginning, but realised after a couple of years that what we really wanted was to be together. The key to age gap relationships is not to try to deny the difference, but not to get too hung up about it either. We joke about it a lot, give each other space for our own age-cohort-related activities, and generally enjoy and respect each other as people, which is about as much as any of us have a right to ask from a relationship.