Is Dating Hard in Japan? – Myths and Reality - That Japanese Man Yuta
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And when it comes to information about income, almost every Japanese dating app I checked out allows you the option of showing your salary level. In the case of Omiai, you can even filter profiles by income brackets.
In the field of occupations that the dating app With has its users fill out, there are choices that include "Working at a publicly-listed company" or "Working at a top 10 financial company," which signals to prospective dates your high-income level.
The degree of openness regarding a user's economic status is something that I've never encountered before using American dating apps, most of which, with the exception of Match. But perhaps it shouldn't come as that much of a surprise that the questions on these dating apps would be this candid or comprehensive in scope. The wealth of profile information provided on these platforms helps Japanese users sidestep certain uncomfortable scenarios in online dating.
For Japanese people, who are known for the discretion and indirectness in their culture, reading a potential date's answer to questions such as "Who do you think should pay for the first date? And for users who are looking for a partner that can provide them with financial security, Japanese dating apps offer them an easy way to gauge a person's financial earnings without having to ask prying questions out loud. Both PCMax and YouBride have a diary component that enables its users to post and read other people's status updates on a Twitter-like networking platform.
The posts, which are usually short in length, range from diaristic documentation — one user, for instance, wrote "I stayed up all night playing Fortnite. Going to the hair salon now" — to more invitational messages, with users asking in their posts whether anyone was free to come out and hang out now. The journal element of these two dating apps offers a rare and intimate prism into the psyches of its Japanese users.
While the majority of diary entries focused on chronicling the details of everyday life — last week, when the east coast of the US was in the throes of a heat wave, many Japanese users were also posting about how stifling hot the day had been — some entries are more confessional and bittersweet. I just want a boyfriend that I can go to fireworks festivals with. One male user journaled "I feel terrible. No one has matched with me so far. I wish I were more attractive. I'm feeling down now, but I'll try to improve myself.
I've liked a few profiles, but no one has liked me back yet. Only 20 days left. Although there's no way of knowing how highly-rated one is when using Japanese dating apps, several apps provide the function of seeing how popular other profiles are. On Pairs, you can see the number of people that "liked" a person and the number is placed boldly in the corner of a user's profile.
And on Omiai and With, you can filter profiles based on the level of their popularity.
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It's not that American dating apps aren't collecting data on which users are considered more attractive or desirable. They are, and some have even leveraged their internal rating systems to either lure more users or more revenue. Tinder has Tinder Selecta members-only version of the platform that serves users deemed good-looking or a catch according to the Tinder Elo scorethe app's algorithmic rating system.
OKCupid A-List subscription, which seems to charge users differently according to multiple criteria — attractiveness included — allows its users to search through profiles by body type and degree of attractiveness. What sets Japanese dating apps apart, however, is how accessible this information is to regular users.
On With, for instance, you can filter profiles by several different criteria, two of which are the number of likes a profile has received and the amount of Facebook friends a person has. Despite the fact that this feature gave me pause, I can understand the ease and convenience it proffers users who don't have time to scroll through multiple profiles every day and who prefer seeing the profiles the app or other users recognize as the most "desirable.
When it comes to using Japanese and American dating apps, there's no clear victor for me as both have their merits and drawbacks. Having never used services such as OKCupid's A-List subscription, I'm not that comfortable with the search functions on some of the Japanese apps that allow users to filter profiles by their popularity.
Not only does it make me feel bad for users that may be considered less attractive by conventional standards, but in some ways, knowledge of another user's ostensible popularity may also serve as a deterrent. If I see a profile that has already amassed a high number of likes, I might refrain from liking or messaging that person because of my awareness of the level of competition I would be facing.
Knowing how popular a certain user is would most likely fuel my sense of inadequacy and hamstring me, rather than help me, in my usage of the app. But that's just me.
I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who would appreciate the usefulness of such functions. One of the components, however, that I enjoyed the most out of my experience with Japanese dating apps was the diary feature available on PCMax and YouBride.
This is a minor detail but I believe paying attention to details eventually makes you very good at understanding a given culture. Apparently, that was what she did. Figuring out subtle cultural cues is, of course, not always easy.
A German guy talks about his German female friend who failed to understand signs from a Japanese guy.
I Explored The World Of Japanese Dating Apps And It's More Different Than I Imagined - Digg
Some girls who think that guys are not interested in them simply fail to detect the signs coming from guys. I would advise girls to be gentle and not necessarily pursue the man of their interest, but make him do the first step. It worked out for me. Contrary to what people believe, Japanese people do express their feelings. Japanese TV drama, films, novels and manga often depict silent expressions of love and gratitude.
Needless to say, people have no problem understanding these subtle ways. Some Japanese people do prefer a more expressive communication style, and they tend to date non-Asian people. She does admit that she likes how Latino and Mediterranean men are warm, passionate, romantic and affectionate type of men, even more than other Westerners such as Americans or Nordic people. She is getting what she believes is hard to get from Japanese guys from her Mexican boyfriend.
Multicultural background I know a lot of people who are successfully dating Japanese guys and girls. Many of them have mixed parents or speak more than two languages. I found a similar tendency in the blog comments.
A Mexican-American girl who met her boyfriend in a hip-hop club in Shiubuya — She says that dating was not something she had in mind when she came to Japan. Another Mexican-American girl who has a Japanese boyfriend.
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Their behaviour is just, of course, influenced by their culture, where it is considered inappropriate or embarrassing to show your feelings for another person so directly. I might just be cherry-picking examples. My personal experience is quite biased since I tend to make friends with culturally open people; most of the friends I have in Japan are very open-minded as opposed to ethnocentric which, I believe, most of the people on earth are.
Let me know what you think. I have a similar impression. While there might be a few girls who lower their guard for white guys, they remain a small percentage of the whole Japanese female population.
Most importantly, they are not necessarily the kind of girls you want to have a relationship with. Sure, I hear war stories: But a lot of western guys I know are not having a particularly easy time in Japan. So, is dating hard in Japan? Dating in Japan can be a bit harder, compared to a more socially open country, because Japanese people tend to be reserved and cautious with strangers. If it feels harder to date in Japan, maybe it really is. From my experience, simplified workflows of dating western and Japanese women would be like this.
Mind you, there are many exceptions so this is by no means definite. I updated the workflow because the previous one seemed to have given the wrong impression of how I think one should approach women. Dating Japanese people requires a few extra steps. For example, some girls prefer hanging out in a group before going on a real date with you.
I remember this girl I met at a party. She was nice and rather cute so I asked her out a few days after. She replied by saying that she would prefer hanging out in a group with her friends first to get to know me.
Fortunately, not all Japanese girls are like that, but I definitely feel that Japanese girls generally need more time. People can be quite cautious of strangers here. This might be the reason why western-style online dating has never been really huge in Japan.
Overall, you have a much better chance of meeting someone through your friends or acquaintances than hitting on random people in public.