Self-harm - Wikipedia
I am worried that this will be a hindrance to my ability to date a girl. to make sure that (1) you have or continue to have help to overcome your self-harming The model does this by how they walk, how they carry themselves. I am editing photos from a cosplay photoshoot with a model; I see in the photos she has old self-harm scars on her wrist, They appear to be old scars, but still. "So in some of these pictures you have some scars; do you want me to When I went to prom, the photographer had my date and I retake the. What would put me off is if they were still self harming, its just too . with dating someone with self harm scars as I do have them myself so I.
This does not mean that those people are bad people or not worth our time. There are many reasons someone might not choose to date someone with self-harm scars, most of which are not related to vanity.
The good news is, a lot of people — especially casual partners — will not mind the scars too much. In these cases, you may not feel the need to bring the issue up at all. If you do feel the need, or if your partner asks, you could say that the scars are from self-harm without going into detail. Another option is to make up another explanation for the scarswhich either the partner will believe or take as a cue that this is not something you would like to discuss.
Self-Harm Scars and Serious Relationships In a more serious relationship, or a relationship that seems as though it has the potential to be serious, you may feel that you want to talk to your partner about your self-harm scars more in-depth.
This will remind you that you are not alone and there are people you can talk to when you need to. Avoid alcohol and drugs We often drink alcohol or take drugs to change our mood or to avoid our feelings. Some people drink to deal with fear or loneliness, but like self-harm the effect is only temporary and can end up making you feel worse.
This changes how you think and feel, so can increase feelings of anxiety and depression. When it wears off you can end up feeling worse because of the effects it has on your brain and your body. Do something you enjoy Remember that there is more to you than self-harm. Do things that remind you of this and make you happy. Maybe this is a sport, or a hobby you like doing such as writing.
Doing things that you enjoy and makes you feel happy, helps you look after your mental health.
'I'm ashamed of my self-harm scars. Is there anything I can do about them?'
It helps to improve your self-esteem and can help you remember that you are important and have value. You might put pressure on yourself to do things in a certain way, or feel that nothing you do is good enough.
Try to not be so hard on yourself about not getting things perfect. I am worried about someone else If you are worried that someone you know is self-harming, it is important to know what to look out for and what to do. Below is some information to help you. Signs to Look Out For It can be difficult to tell whether someone is self-harming. Here are some signs that might suggest someone could be self-harming : Withdrawal or isolation from everyday life.
Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy | HealthyPlace
Signs of depression such as low mood, tearfulness or a lack of motivation or interest in anything. Changes in activity and mood, e. Talking about self-harming or suicide. Abusing drugs or alcohol. Expressing feelings of failure, uselessness or loss of hope.
Risk taking behaviour substance misuse, unprotected sexual acts. Signs of low self-esteem such as blaming themselves for any problems or saying they are not good enough. Unexplained cuts, bruises or marks. Covering up all the time, when in hot weather.
Being quieter than usual.
Also, there may be no warning signs at all. It is therefore important that if you suspect someone you know is self-harming, that you ask them openly and honestly.
What to do if you are worried about someone If you are worried that someone you know is self-harming, it can be difficult to know what to do.
When you are aware there is an issue, it is important that you do not wait. Waiting and hoping they will come to you for help might lose valuable time in getting them the best support and treatment to help them . Be mindful that they might not feel ready or able to talk about their self-harm. It takes a lot of trust and courage to open up about self-harm. You might be the first person they have been able to talk to about this. Some tips for talking to someone about self-harm : Set plenty of time aside to talk to them where you will be free from interruption.
If possible, remove distractions such as computers and phones being on.
Are Self-Harm Scars Fashion's Last Taboo?
This will allow you to give your full attention, letting them know you are there to listen to and support them. Instead talk about how they are feeling and what they are going through. Try not to react shocked or disgusted. If you believe they are in immediate danger or have injuries that need medical attention, you need to take action to make sure they are safe.
Reassure them that you are there for them and that there are lots of sources of support available to them. You might not understand what they are going through or why they do it but remind them you are there for them regardless. Furthermore, this may stop them talking to you and you might not get the chance to discuss the topic again. Offer them help in seeking professional support and provide information on ways to do this.
You might want to offer to go the GP with them, or help them talk to a trusted adult or family member. Try not to take control and allow them to make decisions. Be positive and let them know that things will get better and recovery is possible! If it is a family member or close friend you are concerned about, they might not want to talk to you.
Try not to take this personally: However, if there are parts of your body you feel ashamed and upset about it is not unusual to neglect yourself or deliberately ignore parts of your body. Choosing to stroke or touch your body during bathing, rubbing in oil or creams to soothe your skin, or having someone you trust give you a gentle massage with oil that smells good are all ways to reconnect with yourself.
This may be a term you would also like to use.
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Rather than thinking of scars as shameful marks on your body, you rename them warrior marks — or some other phrase that represents these scars are a sign of your survival.
If you hate your scars you may feel resistant to seeing them positively, but it can be useful to remember cutting was something you did that helped you cope. You may have scars, but you are still here. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone, choosing instead to assertively keep your past and your appearance a private matter for you to share when you wish to or not. Alternatively you may decide to not bother with any of the steps covered above outside of any necessary physical care your scars might require and instead proudly and defiantly refuse to hide yourself.
There is no correct or fixed choice you have to make. You may vary what you do depending on how you feel, where you are, and who you are with.
You may want to think through some of the options above and perhaps talk to your doctor about what may be open to you. The following organisations can also offer you advice, and provide further ideas for self-care to help you feel happier: Petra Boynton is a social psychologist and sex researcher working in International Health Care and studying sex and relationships. Follow her on Twitter drpetra.