Major Moments: Blended family, tangled finances
It's the perfect metaphor for a second marriage: two families blending into one. Garrod wasn't thinking about financial challenges four years ago when he first spotted From their first date, when they "watched shooting stars until five in the . Negotiating money and finances in a new relationship is tricky enough, but doubly so Blended and step-families have grown by fifty per cent over the last ten years, about putting my mind at ease that he has no issue in supporting me and the children.” This is why I would never date single parents. Becoming a blended family presents its challenges. Make plans to continue dating one another or schedule an occasional weekend determine right from the start how you plan to share your money with your new partner.
Surprising secrets of happy families Blended and step-families have grown by fifty per cent over the last ten years, according to Gayle Westcott, psychologist and senior manager of client services at Relationships Australia.
They now represent ten per cent of all coupled families with children in Australia. What are the fiscal rules for such families? Should a new partner help support you and your children? Sophia has arranged to pay half of the rent and bills when she moves in with Zac. It was him who had to convince me. Not so much to convince me, but more about putting my mind at ease that he has no issue in supporting me and the children.
The Challenge of Mixed or Blended Families
It's a 50 percent pay cut from his previous job as a computer specialist. Plus he puts 28 percent of his paycheck toward child support. But after being unemployed for a year, he took what he could get. In the divorce, his home went to his ex-wife. Their money habits clash as well.
Cuellar works the monthly budget down to the last penny in a spreadsheet. Garrod's divorce has been contentious, and the couple wonder whether his ex-wife will have a claim on Cuellar's assets after they marry.
The advice How does this devoted but challenged couple start on the right path? Beverly Pekala, a Chicago family law attorney, has a simple answer to their most pressing question, which is whether to add Garrod's name to the house title. Don't do it," she says.
Instead, Pekala says, Cuellar should put her house in a trust -- either an Illinois land trust or a standard revocable trust. She's protected during her lifetime -- from a divorce and other claims -- and can specify that either Garrod or her kids or both get the home when she dies. If Garrod feels slighted, Pekala suggests, he could contribute less to the day-to-day expenses to compensate.
But the fact is, "Bob doesn't come to the table with an equal situation," she says.
The Challenge Of Mixed Or Blended Families
Garrod should never have taken money out of his kof course. But now that he has, "all is not lost," says Shashin G. Shah, a financial adviser in Addison, Texas. Garrod is already putting 4.
New Study: Blended Families Say They Face Financial Challenges
To find more money to save -- for one thing, Garrod should start s for his kids -- the couple have to reconcile their money habits. Hayden says Cuellar shouldn't let Garrod off the hook by saying he's "not a money person;" paying the bills together will lead to fewer runs on the ATM.
For more tips, see the next page. As for kids, opposite approaches may have worked so far, but it's time to get on the same page. But in a second marriage, when both partners have picked up financial habits over the years, those differences can be amplified.
Should your new partner help support you and your children?
How can you successfully blend different money styles? The Money Book for Couples," offers these five tips. Children are dependent on parents for material and emotional well being.
They are not at the age and level of maturity where they are capable of making sound judgments based on sensible thinking. It is now well established that the teenage brain is continuing to develop.
The part of the brain that controls rational thinking is not yet as highly developed as the emotional brain.
Teenagers continue to need adult guidance, advice and, sometimes, limit setting. Adults are responsible for the executive decisions in a family. It is inappropriate for parents to discuss their sexual difficulties with their children. It is equally inappropriate to ask the children how much money should be spent for the purchase of a new house. In a situation in which two families are coming together because of divorce and remarriage, boundary lines may feel fuzzy for a long time until new routines and rules are established.
This is why it is vital for the new couple to fully support each other in encounters with the children. As a therapist I find it discouraging to read all the E. Mails from people who complain that their new spouse seems to have time only for the biological child while they go ignored.
All the talks and complaints appear to be of no avail.
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To repeat, the reason for the deafness on the part of the biological parent is often due to guilt feelings in relation to their son or daughter. However, this is no excuse. Adults must engage in two difficult tasks in blending families. The first task is to set very clear boundaries. Setting boundaries means that adults consult one another before decisions are made. It also means that adults support one another while the children are present.
There is plenty of time for discussion when parents are alone and can discuss issues in private. This is where the second task comes in.